I mean, if I had the slightest notion that I had a spider crawl in my ear, I would have gone to the hospital right away! No messing around, ya know?
Did You Try Nuking It?
One morning in 2014, Hendrik Helmer woke up to a stabbing pain in his ear. Since he was from Australia, Helmer naturally assumed that a spider had crawled in there while he was asleep. With that in mind, he did what any Australian would do, and tried to ignore it. When the pain not only failed to subside but got worse over the next few hours, he decided to take action.
Initially, he tried to drown the beast with water. When that failed, he decided a vacuum might be able to suck it out, which just made the creature squirm around more inside him. With all his reasonable options exhausted, Helmer decided to try a last-ditch attempt and go to the hospital.
When the doctor examined Helmer, she could see that there was something alive inside, but could not quite make out what. In a short procedure, she poured olive oil into the man’s ear, which usually drives animals out of the ear canal. In this case, the creature appears to have drowned, allowing the doctor to remove it, and finally reveal that a 2 cm (0.79 inch) cockroach was the culprit behind all of Helmer’s pain. Helmer was relatively unfazed by his ordeal, although several of his friends began sleeping with earphones.
I can't imagine what's worse...a spider in the ear, or a roach! Personally, I don't want either one in my ear...and that's a fact!
Coffee out on the patio before it gets any hotter!